I, Alfred F. Jones, don't get it, I really don't. Despite being bullied all the time for her good grades and coke bottle glasses, ____ was always so pleasent, so upbeat.
She's the last person I would have expected to commit suicide.
Through their tears, her parents said that, in her suicide letter, the reason why she killed herself is because of the bullying she had to put up with every day she went to school. Those words made my blood run cold, because I was one of the bullies who pushed her to do that, the ring leader actually. From name calling to groping, she certainly got it all, though you could never tell it hurt her by that sappy smile she always had plastered to her face when she told people she was fine.
That fact probably makes it even more disrespectful to stand before her grave as I do now. Rain started to fall, the drops sliding down my blond locks and hitting the grass below, but I hardly cared; the rain mixed quite well with my tears.
Why didn't I tell her how beautiful she was, instead of calling her four eyes and ugly?
Why did I make fun of the way she laughed, when I only wanted to hear it more and more?
Why did I tell her to die, when I want nothing more than for her to live?
Why didn't I tell ____ I loved her?
God, I'm so stupid. To think I had the chance to hold her in my arms, and instead to chose to bring her down, to look cool in front of my so called friends. I glanced up at the sky, the rain continuing its steady fall, though it looked crimson red to me. Red with ____'s blood that stained my hands.
It's all my fault, but it's too late to say I'm sorry. It's too late to realize how much I need her. "I'm sorry." I whispered, my voice cracking with emotion. "I'm so sorry, ___."
The rain fell for a while that day, and my tears fell even longer.
















Hm.. I hope I spelled cudos right.... And used it in the right context.... Hm..
Beautiful Ones- Poets of the Fall
Flies with a broken wing, she's ever so graceful, so like an angel,
but I see, tears flow quietly.
The struggle she's seen this spring, when nothing comes dancing,
paying a handsome fee, and still she smiles at me.
And I can't take it, no I can't help but wonder...
Why do we sacrifice the beautiful ones?
How do you break a heart of gold?
Why do we sacrifice our beautiful souls?
Heroes of tales unsung, untold.
Sweet as an angel sings, she gives though she has none left but the
last one, free, unhesitatingly.
And I am humbled, I'm a broken mirror, and I can't help but wonder...
Why do we sacrifice the beautiful ones?
How do you break a heart of gold?
Why do we sacrifice our beautiful souls?
Heroes of tales unsung, untold.
Why do we sacrifice the beautiful ones?
Why when they walk with love alone?
Why do we sacrifice our beautiful souls?
Just trying to find their way home.
you are beautiful.
so sad!!
Damn... this was... simply HEARTBREAKING. TTATT I feel the need to change this story... D: To make it have a happy ending... but I know it's useless. Some things are just impossible to change. I'd seriously do anything to stop those who think of suicide or at least lessen their pain. D': I was bullied my first few years in my country for being a "gringo"(offensive latin-american slang for american or englishman), even though I was just raised outside my country, and that doesn't make me a foreigner... ;A; but that's the excuse those bullies used, that I was a good-for-nothing gringo and was better off dead. >.> and it was a really sad episode of my life, I didn't smile at all and actually thought of suicide a few times... I was never the same after that, even nowadays I find it hard to smile, and if someone approaches me I back off scared they'll hurt me... I also became rather paranoic, if I get a friend I tend to be wary of them thinking they're plotting something behind my back, and besides that I'm always really melancholic. I used to be the popular type, who talked to everyone, was friends with everyone, etc. I can hardly utter a word now, and even though I'm not bullied anymore I don't have any friends because I don't talk to anyone. I just wish those biatches who stole my old life away would GIVE IT BACK. Seriously, I love my country but I can't help but blame it for all the bad things that happened in my life. I wanna go back to my old country, my beloved country, where only happy things happened to me but no one seems to understand that, not even my parents. My own parents think I'm a weirdo for loving the country we used to live in as much as or even more than the country where I suffered abuse. Hell yeah. The fact that they bullied me for being a "foreigner" actually makes me want to tell everyone I meet: "I'm a foreigner". It's technically a lie, yes, but can't a girl be rebellious?
Sorry for the wall of text/rant, I was a bit moody today thinking about the past and I just had to let it all out. GOD, was that long...
And it's alright, I understand how it feels to want to let it all out. No need to apologize, love.
I've read some of the comments below. I'm a victim of bullying, and knowing other people out there has been through the same as me, but instead of dwelling on it for years like I've done, and instead moved on, warms my heart. I hope you have it much better now.
I have never been able to move on, at least not fully. It's been 3 years since people daily bullied me, but I still feel haunted by their words and actions. The other day a guy made a comment about how much he disliked the way I acted and dressed up, and right then and there I was angry and yelled at him, but when I came home I started crying, and I cried until I fell asleep.
I made a counterpart to deal with problems. Since my real name is Hanne, she likes to call herself Enna. She is tough, and she protects me, but she will only do that, she won't comfort me. That's why I cry.
..
Reading this made me remember everything I've been through, and while reading I was actually crying. But at the same time I was happy, cause I realized how far I've come since then. I've gotten so many more friends since then and my life is much better.
I'm sorry, I'm just ranting on about myself, but I really like this. I hope you got it better too