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I, Alfred F. Jones, don't get it, I really don't. Despite being bullied all the time for her good grades and coke bottle glasses, ____ was always so pleasent, so upbeat.

She's the last person I would have expected to commit suicide.

Through their tears, her parents said that, in her suicide letter, the reason why she killed herself is because of the bullying she had to put up with every day she went to school. Those words made my blood run cold, because I was one of the bullies who pushed her to do that, the ring leader actually. From name calling to groping, she certainly got it all, though you could never tell it hurt her by that sappy smile she always had plastered to her face when she told people she was fine.

 That fact probably makes it even more disrespectful to stand before her grave as I do now. Rain started to fall, the drops sliding down my blond locks and hitting the grass below, but I hardly cared; the rain mixed quite well with my tears.

 Why didn't I tell her how beautiful she was, instead of calling her four eyes and ugly?

 Why did I make fun of the way she laughed, when I only wanted to hear it more and more?

 Why did I tell her to die, when I want nothing more than for her to live?

 Why didn't I tell ____ I loved her?

 God, I'm so stupid. To think I had the chance to hold her in my arms, and instead to chose to bring her down, to look cool in front of my so called friends. I glanced up at the sky, the rain continuing its steady fall, though it looked crimson red to me. Red with ____'s blood that stained my hands.

 It's all my fault, but it's too late to say I'm sorry. It's too late to realize how much I need her. "I'm sorry." I whispered, my voice cracking with emotion. "I'm so sorry, ___."

 The rain fell for a while that day, and my tears fell even longer.

It makes me sad how many kids kill themselves over bullies, and so I wrote this. To all bullies reading this: please think twice about bullying someone, because you just might prevent a death.
Comment, please!
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:iconnomnomsun:
NOMNOMSUN Featured By Owner Edited Dec 6, 2014
Me: *Comes back from the dead by blowing the ground apart* :iconsurprisemofoplz: SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKER! -Reaches for Alfred while he jumps away and makes a undead screeching sound-

-Alfred runs away screaming like a bitch-


Me: THAT'S WHAT YOU GET! /it was all a act to see if he cared or not/ Happy ending!
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:iconsis554:
sis554 Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
As of now 5 tears have left my eyes with more to come
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:iconcatherinegreenapple3:
THESE FEELS BRO T_T
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:iconyuikawa28:
Yuikawa28 Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2014
This is really amazing and I was bullied everyday at school without me trying to kill the hell out of them but when I had enough, I tried killing myself but my family guards me the entire hour that I had no chance. My friends befriended me because of my grades so they are 'fakes' so all I have left to live for is my career and my family.
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:iconsatanicbeing:
SATANICbeing Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2014  Student
i can be your friend if u want! ;)
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:iconisabellathekiller16:
Isabellathekiller16 Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2014
That's sad but don't kill yourself you have a life to live for
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:iconlunabun:
lunabun Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2013  Student Writer
I cried. This really hit me hard, because honestly, I have tried to kill myself, multiple times. Part of me still wants to, but the other part, that small little part of me, urges me to live because I have someone to live for.
I tried it a lot, a good chunk of my tries would have been successful if my grandmother or mother hadn't come home at the time they did.
Now, I'm actually glad I'm alive. I'm glad I'm alive because today, I'm living, to see that smile, on my best friend's face, to hear her laugh and talk, it's enough for me to live.

All I can say, from my experiences, is, that it does get better, always. There is always a reason to live, even if it feels like there isn't, you just need to look for it.
c:
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:iconkurino-sama-alpha:
kurino-sama-alpha Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2014
thank you for not killing yourself!!!! i wish i knew who you actually were and where you lived, because if you live close to me, then i would give you a giant hug for being strong enough to push on and keep going!!!! there is always a reason to live, and i'm so sorry you got bullied!!! i know how it feels, but it probably was nowhere near as bad as you. but i'm so glad you're her today!!!! *hugs tightly* i'm so proud of you.
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:iconcrystalbarrier:
CrystalBarrier Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2013
Sh!t I'm crying now!
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:icondj-vaporeon:
Dj-Vaporeon Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
... I am bullied every day to no end at school and I have tried to kill my self before... :iconsadplz:
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:iconkurino-sama-alpha:
kurino-sama-alpha Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2014
be strong and push on! i know how much it can really hurt. but it does get better, trust me. i believe in you to be stronger than your bullies and not give into them!! *hugs tightly* you can get through this. i believe in you!!!
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:iconkallyjean96:
KallyJean96 Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2013
Be strong, sweetheart, you'll be okay.
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:iconmagickittylenlen:
Magickittylenlen Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2013
*Hugs* Its okay.
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:iconstlnini:
stlnini Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I really like this story. Last year I was bullied a lot but I just brushed it off not really knowing how much pain and I was holding in until I started writing about it.
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:iconluffythaking:
LuffyThaKing Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
The sad thing  bro, is that most bullies don't realise what they're doing until it's too late. And that's why it's so sad, cuz they're playing with peoples' life. A girl who would have begun in my school last year killed herself cuz she got bullied. And I promise, you could see the shock on everyones' face!

Anyway, it was a really good fanfic!
Reply
:iconawesome-pancakes:
Awesome-Pancakes Featured By Owner May 8, 2013
T_T So sad and touching.... CUDOS TO YOU BRO!!!!!


Hm.. I hope I spelled cudos right.... And used it in the right context.... Hm..
Reply
:iconlaylaalvedo:
LaylaAlvedo Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2013
That's what Hero from Superchick is all about.
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:iconmrskyoya:
MrsKyoya Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Did I ever tell you how much I love this? cause I do, so much~ It is so sad and beautifully written it made me cry :iconsniffplz: You are so amazing and I hope you know that :tighthug:
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:iconangelneko1:
angelneko1 Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
this is a reply to kittykat102 and MidnightShadows24. i have read your response to to this story and it breaks my heart to read that you both were bullied and thought about commiting suicde. you both are wonderful people, i can tell from your writing, and it would be a damn shame if you both died. although i have never been bullied, i have thought about suicide when my father was in the hospital and when my parents yell and scream at me for grades. every time that i have thought about death, i called my mother and my friend. although you may not have friends at your school or country you have wonderful friends on this site. this site is not only a place where you can put up artwork and literature, but a chance to meet new people and become friends with them. there are people here who love you and truly care for you. i am one of them. if you ever feel down you can go to my page and rant all of your troubles and i will listen to youcries. oneday in life you will find someone who will love you for who you are. this person will truely love you for all that you are, including all of your weakness. this person will take your weakness and turn it into your greatest strenght. i leave you with this song.

Beautiful Ones- Poets of the Fall
Flies with a broken wing, she's ever so graceful, so like an angel,
but I see, tears flow quietly.

The struggle she's seen this spring, when nothing comes dancing,
paying a handsome fee, and still she smiles at me.

And I can't take it, no I can't help but wonder...

Why do we sacrifice the beautiful ones?
How do you break a heart of gold?
Why do we sacrifice our beautiful souls?
Heroes of tales unsung, untold.

Sweet as an angel sings, she gives though she has none left but the
last one, free, unhesitatingly.

And I am humbled, I'm a broken mirror, and I can't help but wonder...

Why do we sacrifice the beautiful ones?
How do you break a heart of gold?
Why do we sacrifice our beautiful souls?
Heroes of tales unsung, untold.

Why do we sacrifice the beautiful ones?
Why when they walk with love alone?
Why do we sacrifice our beautiful souls?
Just trying to find their way home.

you are beautiful.
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:iconkurino-sama-alpha:
kurino-sama-alpha Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2014
*sniffs. wipes eyes* that was very beautiful. and you are right. about having friends on this site. and finding that one person one day. so to all who read this, please, stay strong. because it will get better. i promise you, it will get better.
and if you can't stay strong for yourself, then be strong for your friends here. because people on here do really care. at least from what i've seen.
i know you can get through this!!! you can do this!!!! i believe in you!!!! so believe in yourself, because at least one person does.
Reply
:iconicey-angel:
icey-angel Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2013
ahhhh TT^TT
so sad!!
Reply
:iconkittykat102:
kittykat102 Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
WARNING. WALL OF TEXT AHEAD.

Damn... this was... simply HEARTBREAKING. TTATT I feel the need to change this story... D: To make it have a happy ending... but I know it's useless. Some things are just impossible to change. I'd seriously do anything to stop those who think of suicide or at least lessen their pain. D': I was bullied my first few years in my country for being a "gringo"(offensive latin-american slang for american or englishman), even though I was just raised outside my country, and that doesn't make me a foreigner... ;A; but that's the excuse those bullies used, that I was a good-for-nothing gringo and was better off dead. >.> and it was a really sad episode of my life, I didn't smile at all and actually thought of suicide a few times... I was never the same after that, even nowadays I find it hard to smile, and if someone approaches me I back off scared they'll hurt me... I also became rather paranoic, if I get a friend I tend to be wary of them thinking they're plotting something behind my back, and besides that I'm always really melancholic. I used to be the popular type, who talked to everyone, was friends with everyone, etc. I can hardly utter a word now, and even though I'm not bullied anymore I don't have any friends because I don't talk to anyone. I just wish those biatches who stole my old life away would GIVE IT BACK. Seriously, I love my country but I can't help but blame it for all the bad things that happened in my life. I wanna go back to my old country, my beloved country, where only happy things happened to me but no one seems to understand that, not even my parents. My own parents think I'm a weirdo for loving the country we used to live in as much as or even more than the country where I suffered abuse. Hell yeah. The fact that they bullied me for being a "foreigner" actually makes me want to tell everyone I meet: "I'm a foreigner". It's technically a lie, yes, but can't a girl be rebellious?

Sorry for the wall of text/rant, I was a bit moody today thinking about the past and I just had to let it all out. GOD, was that long... :iconsweatdropplz:
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:iconmidnightshadows24:
MidnightShadows24 Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I feel for you, sweetheart. I was bullied as well, for a reason even more ridiculous. My school doesn't treat "freaks" such as myself too kindly. It hurt so much to have so many of my friends leave me, because they were scared of being seen with a freak such as myself. I also considered suicide, but I never had the guts to go through with it. Sometimes, even now, I think about killing myself. But I can't seem to find the courage to cut anywhere but my thighs. :( If I could slit my wrists and end it, I think sometimes I'd be happier.

And it's alright, I understand how it feels to want to let it all out. No need to apologize, love. :hug:
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:iconwubwubwolf:
wubwubwolf Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013
I'm touched, this is a wonderbar piece!
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:iconsakuralover01:
SakuraLover01 Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for writing this.
I've read some of the comments below. I'm a victim of bullying, and knowing other people out there has been through the same as me, but instead of dwelling on it for years like I've done, and instead moved on, warms my heart. I hope you have it much better now.

I have never been able to move on, at least not fully. It's been 3 years since people daily bullied me, but I still feel haunted by their words and actions. The other day a guy made a comment about how much he disliked the way I acted and dressed up, and right then and there I was angry and yelled at him, but when I came home I started crying, and I cried until I fell asleep.
I made a counterpart to deal with problems. Since my real name is Hanne, she likes to call herself Enna. She is tough, and she protects me, but she will only do that, she won't comfort me. That's why I cry.
..
Reading this made me remember everything I've been through, and while reading I was actually crying. But at the same time I was happy, cause I realized how far I've come since then. I've gotten so many more friends since then and my life is much better.

I'm sorry, I'm just ranting on about myself, but I really like this. I hope you got it better too :heart:
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:iconxxxstars-and-flowers:
xXXStars-and-Flowers Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This is such a nice and meaningful story even if it was short. I love how you made the story sad but sweet at the same time when Alfred wanted to tell the reader he loved her! ^_^
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:iconwhisperingwatermelon:
This was the shortest, but most satisfyingly touching insert I've read. :)
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:iconbubbazden:
Bubbazden Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh my this is really sad...
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:iconsopisfie:
SopisFie Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I know who it feels to get bullied, and i so selfharm and other stuff. But i rally like the story :D
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:iconilovecats911:
ilovecats911 Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
.......im crying.....
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:iconposikoes:
Posikoes Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
This was both beautiful and haunting. You certainly have a way with words and emotions
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:iconlady-zana:
Lady-Zana Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013
Why is this fanfiction, exactly? Granted, I've only seen like, two episodes of Hetalia, but I'm still pretty sure that this and that have absolutely nothing to do with each other. Is America typically portrayed as a bully in the show? To me, it just seems kinda forced, especially with that beginning line.

On the same token, using a blank for the other character is a bit jarring. I don't think the whole reader insert thing works well for this type of piece. (Though honestly, I never understood the appeal of insert stories to being with.)

Overall, it's just distracting from the point of the story. I think it would have been better if you had used original names for them.
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:iconmidnightshadows24:
MidnightShadows24 Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Do you know why I originally wrote this? Not only was it for all kids depressed by bullying, but I wrote it for myself, seeing as I went through a similar issue. I got bullied a lot, and I actually considered taking my life. I'm glad I didn't, but I know there are others who will go to that length. Seeing as, from what you said in your reply to ellielza, you've never had such urges, you have no right to complain. The fact that I wrote this while crying as I remembered that difficult part of my life, and to see you comment, bitching and whining about a character from a show you've only seen two episodes of and the fact that this is a reader insert(a fact I stated cleary stated in the title)REALLY pisses me off. Why bother reading this in the first place when I stated all the things you're complaning about in the title? It leads me to believe that you're just complaining for the hell of it, and this pisses me off even more.
I'm sorry for being rather rude, but I'm rather sensative about this. You know that saying, hit a nerve? You hit my nerve. With a machine gun. Over and over.
Sincerely,
MidnightShadows24
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:iconlady-zana:
Lady-Zana Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013
Well no, I assumed you wrote this as an anti-bully type thing, because that's the only indication you gave. How was I to know that it stemmed from personal experience?

I'm sorry to hear it, though.

However, that does not make you exempt from constructive criticism, unless you specifically say you don't want it. But all you said was to comment, so I did. It was not complaining, nor was it meant to be taken personally. All I did was point out things that I thought detracted from the story, and I explained why. I will admit that I'm very blunt and I don't sugarcoat the things I say, but again, I was not attacking you or trying to say that your writing is bad. All I was saying was that, in my opinion, it would have read better if you had used original names and that tying it in with Hetalia is unnecessary. That's it.

Honestly, I clicked this because I was curious about the dead reader part. This wasn't what I was expecting, but since it seemed sincere, I figured I'd leave my thoughts and maybe you'd take something from it. I'm not sorry for what I said, but I am sorry you felt offended by it, as that was not my intention. Next time, however, if you're not looking for feedback on your pieces, you need to say so. People can't read minds.
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:iconmidnightshadows24:
MidnightShadows24 Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Sorry I went kinda bitch on you; as I said, I'm a bit sensative about this, and so I jumped to conclusions. Again, I'm very sorry, and I thank you for the criticism. :)
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:iconlady-zana:
Lady-Zana Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2013
Ah, it's all good.
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:iconcarrotsoren:
CarrotSoren Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Hetalia doesn't really have a story, that's why it's so easy and fun to write for. It's plotless.
Reply
:iconellielza:
ellielza Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013  Student Digital Artist
well it has to be fanfiction because its a character from an anime so it cant be categorised as something else
if you don't like reader inserts then don't read them when it clearly says it is one in the title. the whole point of _ is so you can use your imagination to think it says your name and thus make it more personal.
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:iconlady-zana:
Lady-Zana Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013
Is it really that character, though? If the name wasn't shoehorned in, would you even had known? That's (part) of my point.

And yes, I know how reader inserts work. Or how they're supposed to work. But the problem with "making it more personal" is that you can't, unless you actually know the reader. What you end up with is a character that is completely vague and undeveloped so that they can be anyone, or character that does have their own personality, but one that may not be the reader's. Ie, I have never been bullied or complemented suicide, so naming the blank character after myself doesn't invoke anything in me. In fact, while reading the piece, I automatically read the blank space as "blank", which is why it's jarring.

To be blunt, it's gimmick writing.
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:iconellielza:
ellielza Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Student Digital Artist
so?
well dont read them then its really simple all you're doing is commenting on the concept and not what the actual literature is about so why bother commenting?
its more personal because it includes you into the story. Maybe you should consider its not aimed at you but possibly people who have felt like suicide.
if you dont like "_" then dont read the reader inserts. you are not commenting about the literature so dont comment at all.
Reply
:iconlady-zana:
Lady-Zana Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013
But I am commenting about the literature. The way you write something is a big part of literature.
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:iconellielza:
ellielza Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Student Digital Artist
and many people write like this so no, you're not.
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:iconlady-zana:
Lady-Zana Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2013
Literature is made up of writing.
I am commenting on the writing.
Ergo, I am commenting on the literature. This is not something you can argue. How many people write like this is irrelevant. Now unless you have something sensible to say, I am no longer going to reply to you, because it's like talking to a brick wall.
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:iconellielza:
ellielza Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2013  Student Digital Artist
then comment on a "anti-reader insert" stamp. and talking to you is like talking to a stubborn brat so good day.
Reply
:iconhetalia-forever-123:
Hetalia-Forever-123 Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013  Student General Artist
You moved me. Wow... this is very touching. It's so sad how many people can get bullied, and how many feel miserable... I wish everyone can lend a hand to stop it.
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:iconwystendraco:
WystenDraco Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013
Some bullies don't even regret the suicides they cause, some have laughed at their victims memorial gathering in their house, in front of their parents, those are the bullies who are the reason laws on what is murder and not should be changed, so that any suicided motivated by bullying should be legally a capital crime or something very close to it.
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:iconmrskyoya:
MrsKyoya Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is really sad and beautifully written, made me cry a little bit :'(
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:iconuneasecorpse:
uneasecorpse Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013  Hobbyist Filmographer
Yea, even if some one that is getting bullied and they say their fine, their really not. it's really sad thought
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:iconthegrellkid:
TheGrellKid Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013
Yup, the bully is a fuckup. I don't even think he's harsh enough on himself.

And that's also exactly how society is. They hate you, and pick on you and torment you, then you actually kill yourself and you hear "such an inspiration" "We love you and we'll never forget you"
Bullshit.

I get that in this literature the writer "loved" the girl before she killed herself despite him bullying her, but, wow.
It's astonishing how it has to take someone to die before people realize their mistakes.

Very powerful, I like your work.
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:iconkimberlygirl12:
Kimberlygirl12 Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013
To be honest... I'm crying my eyes out. I almost wish there was more. Hint hint...
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