Pick Up Lines: Drunk!FranceXReader

You'd never been one for bars but your three best friends, Prussia, Spain and France, loved them.

 After all, bars had beer, wine, and all the whores a dick could ever want. What's not to love, right?

 You snorted, taking a gulp of your whisky, the liquid burning your throat. You silently watched Prussia and Spain attempt to pick up girls, somewhat amused by their cheesy attempts. That amusement quickly evaporated, however, when you felt arms wrap around your waist. " 'Ey, mon amour!"

 You groaned, recongizing the voice; out of all three boys, France was definatly the biggest flirt. What's worse, he was drunk at the moment, a fact he made quite obvious by his stupid grin and flushed face. "Iz zere a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see moi in your pants."

 Your face burning, you pushed him away and got up; after all, if you'd wanted to be picked up, you would've gone to a freaking strip club.

 But it seemed France wasn't ready to give up, because he lunged for your arm. "Don't you think you pants would look grand next to moi's bed?"

 You sighed. "France, you're wasted."

 "Moi has wasted so much time trying to find you!" He cried out, pulling you into a bone crushing hug. Blushing, you hesitantly hugged back. Maybe this wasn't so bad after all......

 At least, that's what you'd thought before he whispered in your ear, "I've lost my teddy bear. ___, would you sleep with me instead?"

 France suddenly doubled over, eyes watering in pain, though that was the expected reaction when one was kicked in the balls. You stood over him, panting, your whole face twenty shades of red. Stupid fucking frog with his stupid fucking pick up lines!

You turned on your heel, storming away, muttering various curse words under your breath. The Frenchman sighed, laughing sadly.

"I'd been so close zat time, too!"