Monster RussiaXInsane!Reader

The secret side of me,

I never let you see,

I keep it caged but I can't control it,

You curled your trembling fingers into fists so tight your drew blood as you stumbled over to your room, your breathing hitched and your vision hazy.

In a way, you were slightly like the 2P's; you had another side of you, a much darker side. The difference was this side was starting to take over completly.

 Your lust for destruction, for killing, for pained whimpers and pathetic begging at your feet just kept on growing and you hated it. You weren't going to lie to yourself, you were terrified. You didn't want to hurt anyone you loved.

 A foggy image of Ivan swam in your head as you thought this.

You couldn't let him see this side of you, the blood lust you couldn't control.

So stay away from me,

The beast is ugly,

I feel the rage and I just can't hold it,

This was the reason you always tried to stay away from people; you didn't want anyone to get hurt because of the insanity you couldn't hide away. Yet that stupid Russian had the gall to worm his way into your heart, if one could still call it that at this point. And now, because of that, you were more terrified than ever.

 Throwing the door open, you stumbled drunkly over to the bedside table and gropped around for your knife.

 When you felt your fingers touch the metal, a rather insane smile crossed your face.

It's scratching on the walls,

In the closet, in the hall,

It comes awake and I can't control it,

Your hands clutching the knife roughly and desperatly, you let out an insane scream and slashed at the wall, adding another scratch to the collection of scratches that were etched into the wall.

To hold your bloodlust back, you would slash and attack the wall, pretending it was a person. You would pretend that, everytime you cut the wall, you were cutting down another person, and you imagined their screams of pain and fear in your head. It pleased you and it sickened you to the very core.

You giggled insanely, your knees buckled and you hit the floor hard, tears welling up.

Hiding under the bed,

In my body, in my head,

The tears ran faster and faster as your crys became pitiful and your breath hitched. God, how you hated this........

You flinched violently when you felt a gloved hand gently touch your shoulder. You jerked your head upward and your eyes met the deep purple ones of Ivan Braginski. For some reason, the childish smile on his face seemed to irk you. "You alright, da?" He asked gently, bending down to your eye level. How he got in shouldn't have been a surprise; he's walked you home so many times, seen you grab your key from underneath the mat.

 You dropped your gaze to the floor, unable to look into his eyes. You gasped sharply when you felt his lips lightly kiss the tear rolling down your cheek. His strong arms wrapped around you and he pulled you closer. You closed your eyes, allowing yourself to melt into the warmth of his tan coat.

 Just being in the arms of the man you loved made you feel beautiful inside.

Why won't somebody come and save me from this,

Make it end,